Difficult Conversations
DownloadEssential Elements of an Effective
“Difficult” Conversation
Present a “For” stance:
“I want you to win”. Be authentic.
State the problem:
Keep it to one and its impact.
- Categories can be: Behavior/Performance, Attitude or Relationship.
- Have three specific examples ready in case you need them.
Own your part:
“I wasn’t clear” or “I waited too long to bring it up”, etc.
Hear their side,
But also deal with diversion.
-
- They may have information that might change your direction.
- If diversion happens:
- Be empathetic with them for a bit.
- Then redirect: “Let me get back to…”
Request one change.
Be Specific.
If needed,
Set consequences.
Reiterate
The “For” stance.
Check back in 1-24 hours:
“How are you doing after our conversation?” Reiterate the “For” stance.
Skills to Manage the Conversation
Prepare
- Decide which Elements are necessary.
- Write down the examples of your request.
- Connect with support.
- Role play the conversation.
Begin the conversation
With warmth and directness.
If their emotions escalate:
- Put the issue aside for now.
- Focus on the process.
- “What’s happening between us right now?”
- Listen well and convey true understanding.
- Make any necessary adaptations.
- Once resolved, return to the issue.
Finally,
Always be ready to accept confrontation in good grace – no defensiveness.